Etiquette at a toi

A few customs that will help you feel at home — and help the family feel respected.

Draft copy, pending review by a Kazakh cultural consultant.

What to wear

Modest, smart clothing. Avoid very casual wear. Shoes come off when entering a home.

Giving money in an envelope is common at a toi. The platform fee is a gift, but a small personal gift from your home country is warmly received.

Accept tea when offered; the table is abundant, so take a little of everything; wait for the elders or hosts to begin.

Greet elders first and show respect in seating and speech. The most honoured seat (tor) is usually reserved for elders or honoured guests.

A blessing given by an elder, often at the end of a meal. Guests follow the family's gesture.

You may be invited to say a few words. Keep it short and warm, and thank the family.

Varies by family; check the event listing. Never pressure or be pressured.

Ask before photographing people, especially children, elders and religious moments.

Arrive on time for key rituals. Say goodbye to the hosts and elders before leaving.